You might be a Taliban if....

 1.  You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral
 objection to liquor.
 
   2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket
 launcher, but  you  can't afford shoes.
 
   3. You have more wives than teeth.
 
   4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider
 bacon  "unclean."
 
   5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and
 suicide.
  
   6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared
 Jihad against.
 
   7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry
 explosives in  your clothing.
 
   8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses
 other than  setting off roadside bombs.
 
   9. You have nothing against women and think every man
 should own at  least two.
 
  10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's
 goat.

 

   11. You use the Koran as an excuse to do what you do.